Tuesday, October 8, 2013

House Hunters Orlando

if you missed yesterday's post. seriously go here first because it is pretty imperative.

so wow, about that whole moving and new job thing.

first, thank you so much for your supportive comments. thank you so much. they cheered my heart yesterday and i was full of smiles.

second, many of you asked whether i'm keeping scooby or if (ex) manfriend took him.

(ex) manfriend ate the chilis take out i got him, watched breaking bad on our couch, and then came into the bedroom and said he was leaving us and packed and walked out at 11pm on a tuesday evening.

believe me, that doesn't warrant any right to this face.

(sorry about that eye booger he was really embarrassed i posted this) 

so i'm here in orlando for house hunters orlando and here's the first thing i want to admit.

you'd think there would be nothing negative about this right? dream job, fresh start, cool town. 

 well...either i'm just nancy negative or actually there is some ickiness. in fact. i'm having really hard emotions about this whole thing. i'm struggling kind of bad. you see, my life was perfectly comfortable and happy when this all happened. everything was fine. i lived near my family, my nieces and had fun friends and (ex) manfriend and i were the two happiest of people. then i got a call from the company. then all these things were set into motion that..

kind of made my life feel like it was falling apart rather than coming together.

i experienced the fear of leaving family and friends. leaving my cute little condo with affordable rent. and i unexpectedly faced the fear (terror) of doing this alone when i went in with the plan that i was doing it with someone.

this is hard. house hunters orlando made it harder.

first it was the amazing community, location i wanted to be in, but kind of dated apartment with the small living room. the area was perfect and filled with lakes and trails for me and scooby and it just felt homey.

then it was the new apartments that had it all but it was in tourist central and not in my favorite location. think, stuck between two crappy motels and a t-shirt shop.

and then of course there were these uber fancy apartments that i could never afford a two bedroom in and that were still under construction in phases so the community wasn't scooby friendly yet with no trails and pet runs. but look at the freaking apartment.

and then i found them. the apartments. perfection. the location i wanted, a great size, pet friendly and a great community with a lake scooby and i could prance around screaming about how we loved florida...

and i couldn't afford them.

and i broke down.

i'll be real. i cried. and i hated. and i regretted. and i rethought everything. because this blog is a passion of mine to tell my story of real life...... and the real life about this new job and this move and this adventure is that while i'm blessed to have it and while it is amazing and once in a lifetime...

right now it hurts.

you wouldn't believe the thoughts that came spiraling into my head and pouring into my heart when i knew i couldn't afford to make this home for me and the pupsqueak.

is this the right move?

how will i give us a good life?

how could (ex) manfriend just leave us? because if we were together this loneliness and fear certainly wouldn't be there. not to mention we could have afforded the damn apartment.

there is a sorrowful peace in my heart now that i've made the decision that i feel may stay here for awhile. if you're wondering, i chose the little dated one in the amazing community. because i thought of mornings with my best friend walking those trails together. i saw a dog park for him and a lake he could see. i found a starbucks this morning ten minutes from it before i applied for it, where they sang "hi ho" while they made my coffee. and i found a little downtown ten minutes away with a farmer's market every saturday that is pet friendly and has two wine bars. (obvi).

and i thought, yeah, scoobert cunningham and i might be able to make this home. 

it is hard to leave comfort behind for the new and the scary. it is hard to feel lost and alone. it is hard to feel like i may fail. but not trying would be the true failure i think.

so many thanks to the friends that rallied around me this trip so i wouldn't have to make it alone. they took days off from work and held my hand when i was scared. it is amazing to see your support system come out, the people who truly care for you, in your times of need.

sarcastic short picture filled posts will return for your amusement. but right now, i hope you like the heart!

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  1. At least you got the location you wanted even if the apartment isn't exactly what you had in mind!

  2. I really think you made the right pic. And I don't think it looks that dated. All you will need is your belongings in there and you'll modern it right up. I continue to be so jealous and yet inspired by your strength throughout this time. As scary as things are now there is a bright future out there for you and scoobs is going to be so happy in his new community!

  3. Let's not lie. It was the wine rack on the island, which looks like a shot carousel, that really made the newer apartment seem fancy. ;) Don't worry...I think you can get those at Bed Bath & Beyond. I think I even have a 20% off coupon for you! It will be my housewarming present to you...and, your new apartment is going to be faneffingtastic!! Love you, girly. As others have said, I too am inspired by your courage and strength. No regrets. Chances are meant to be taken!

  4. I think you made the best choice with that apartment. Scoobs is going to love it and I know you will, too! Moving to an all new city with so many changes is definitely scary but I think you're going to be so so happy with your decision!

  5. Way to go Katie! I'm so proud of you for moving on and doing what you have to do - I can't imagine how tough it must be to have to pick up and move your entire life, but you've been handling it so well. Your new apartment sounds lovely, and Scooby's gonna love it, and so will you! :) I have faith that you'll do well in Orlando, and that sometimes things don't work out for a reason. See, if mr. manfriend doesn't see you as importance in his life, then you don't need him in yours! stay positive love <3

  6. Ok now I feel like an asshole for the comment I just left on your last post. Is the first set of apartments completely out of the question? I just have a really good feeling that this experience will do wonders for you and your future. It might be hard, but it just seems like such an amazing opportunity! Wishing you the best.

  7. Moving is seriously hard and you are totally normal to feel sad and scared (I know I did when I moved away from all my people) but the reality of the matter is in a few months you will feel at home there, you will make new friends you will feel at home. and if you dont, the beauty is you can always go back home. if you absolutely hate florida you can make a decision to leave nothing is permanent! and as for the apartment, give the one you picked a chance and if you dont love it you have your entire lease to find a new better place so it also is not permanent! once you get to know the area better you will find the perfect place to live

  8. Change is terrifying but I think this is going to be the best thing for you. Man friend should be called ex boyfriend. Cause a real man would have taken the plunge with you. Better to figure out now than later. Besides your future hubby is at the house of mouse! Xoxo thinking of you!! And SO HAPPY you get Scoobs! I always joke with my husband - if you ever pull a fast one on me. Finn is microchipped to me. Never forget it!! Hahah :)

  9. I'm thinking apartment one looked more dated because it was empty. I bet your stuff will modernize it right away! This sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime - if not now, when? I think more good is on the way!

  10. i think in the long run you picked the right apartment. change is hard and you're going through a lot of it quickly, but it will be worth it! promise.

  11. As long as Scoobs is there, it's home! AS IF ex manfriend would ever get him. Not a freaking chance, I'd have gone to bat for you if he tried taking that dog. I need my Scooby daily instagram fix thank you very much. I agree with Lauren, once you have your stuff in there you won't even notice!

  12. love the heart!
    i totally understand the fear and all the thoughts of regret creeping in. i moved 3000 miles away from my home, friends and family. there were tons of tears for months, it was the hardest thing ever. but it turned out ok. i know once you start working and meeting people, and get settled and familiar with your neighborhood, you will start to feel much better. i can only imagine how much harder it must be to have to chin-up thru all this while you're still healing from him walking out on you. what a dick. but as long as you keep venting here, and keep cuddling with scoobs and enjoying your dream job... you will be fine :)

  13. you're amazing and you're doing the right thing and you'll feel that soon. you and scoob are going to have an amazing adventure and you're going to meet incredible people and experience spectacular things and you'll look back and not regret one second of it.

    also- I think that the last apartment was so great because it was all furnished with funky shit. honestly, it doesn't seem overly incredible from here. you made the right choice!

  14. check out the parks near College Park even if it's a drive! Totally worth it!

  15. Hi Katie, I didn't comment yesterday but wanted to say a huge congratulations on your new job (as a fellow chartered accountant, you officially have my dream job!!). I imagine you are going through so many emotions now, but the apartment looks lovely - and it's a brand new start for you and Scooby (who is Adorable!). I've had some ups and downs in my career too so far, and I now truly think everything happens for a reason... 'Keep Moving Forward' as Walt would say :)

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