Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Move, Living in Florida, the Farmer's Market and My First Day at Disney

i'm back. so sorry for consistently sucking at blogging. but the move, the fact i had no internet and blogging from my iphone is worse than I-4 traffic in orlando, and the fact this move has been harder than heck, should be a good reason. but now i'm settled, bags are unpacked and it is time to start this life here in central florida. let's rewind this like we fell asleep while watching something we DVR'd and now we have to go back just a bit..

leaving north carolina was probably the hardest thing i've ever done. it was a weekend of goodbyes and my eyes and head hurt from sobbing. not to mention i was sleeping in my empty house, on a crappy aerobed and i couldn't take how much my heart hurt. i felt like i had no home in florida, and not really one in north carolina anymore. it was like one of those gypsy TLC shows except i wasn't getting married at 15 and moving into a trailer.

but the fact is, when my niece hugged me goodbye i almost backed out of the whole thing and that's the truth. 

it was cold and 5am when i pulled out of my parent's driveway, my car packed to the brim and a scooby in back. when my dad teared up, my heart broke. but he said he was excited for me, and he meant it. pitch black, freezing and crying so hard i could not see, i drove away from everything i called home. no, it wasn't where i was born and raised in detroit, but it was where my parents were, my friends were, my nieces and brother and sister in law were, and damn it hurt. i think i finally stopped crying in georgia. six hours later.


when i got to my apartment here in florida, things took a turn for the worse. i opened the door to find a disaster. the carpets were stained so bad it looked like a yeti lived there previously, the sink was flooded and no outlets were working. thank god my mom had caravan'd down with me to help get me settled because she held me together i swear. it seems small now, and maybe you reading it seems whiney, but after a 9 hour drive, the hurt of leaving, and everything else, all i wanted was a nice place to get to.

and it wasn't. 

but i was there and as much as i wanted to close my eyes and land about four months ago on my comfy couch next to (ex) manfriend watching season 3 of downtown abbey that wasn't going to happen. so i did something stupid and tried to live like it was real, like my old life could just come back. i sat on those dirty carpets next to scooby and i looked at all the pictures i had on my phone of my "old life". and i sobbed and it got bad and i sat there staring at these pictures and his facebook like...pity party YOU'RE INVITED. 

omg, how am i here, i hate this, this isn't home, it's hot, how could he be over it? how could he just be effing partying and playing frisbee and having the time of his effing life while i'm sitting here on nasty carpets that are flooded in the dark crying?

and you know what? i decided right there that i had to stop. this wasn't going to be easy regardless but if i did this, i was going to drown in my own tears mixed with the flooded sink water.

and isn't that the truth? so i rolled up my sleeves, and i looked at my pup and i decided i had to try to make this home.

do you like it? to top it all off, the beautiful adriana sent me gifts to cheer me up. she actually did that guys. 

i can't.

after two days of unpacking, scrubbing, cleaning and organizing it was time to focus on this man.

he isn't taking the move well. i'll talk about it later. so to cheer him up, together we discovered a huge dog park in our community that no one uses. i've dubbed it scooby's yard and each day he goes to it (it's simply up the path) i see his spark come back.

one day we even visited the winter garden farmer's market together which is a huge craft fair and farmer's market in my town every saturday that kills me it is so cute and pet friendly. 

and most evenings we take a walk and i tell him all about how things could be worse and he tells me i'm projecting just to make myself feel better. it's fine.

and all of those evenings, i do have to admit, florida is kinda, sorta, beautiful.

and today i started my dream job and the whole day i honestly sat there in shock and near tears that finally, finally, i freaking did it. i made it. i work at disney.

so now what? well. it's time to get a routine together here. it's time to make a life. they say it takes a year to get settled in a place but i'm determined to cut that down a bit. because, honestly, you couldn't take me whining for a year and that's the truth.

so i started work, and now it's time to join a gym, and my new kickball team starts on friday. and it's time to smile, be content, and make a schedule. it's time to dive into work and be an all-star there! it's time to get fit and be happy with myself. it's time to make a bond with scooby even more than we already have, and do his next level of training and love him so much everyday. and it's time to say yes and make friends and smile even when it sucks and i just want to run to the comfort of my old life and friends. 

because life could have been easy, comfortable and okay. but i didn't take that route. and as much as i wish i was back home this weekend, with things to do, and comfort and ease, it makes me feel all the better i'm the person that said "okay" wasn't good enough.

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  1. So proud of you luv! You are going to survive this and come out stronger on the other side because you have gone through it.

  2. This is so brave. I don't think I have ever done anything brave. It sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime and it's amazing that you took it and are running with it and have plans to make it amazing. There a week and already joining a kickball team? So, so impressive. Glad you and Scooby have each other and I hope playtime in his yard makes him into his old self again. Or his new self. Whichever one likes you :)

  3. You're apartment is adorable! Great job setting everything up. : ) Florida will feel like home before you know it. Good luck!

  4. You are the bravest, most inspirational person! I truly look up to you for taking a scary, unknown path and owning it. You're going to do big things, meet new friends and have a brand new start. And that's truly incredible. Keep your head up, girl.

  5. Good for you, girl! I'm proud of you for opening up on here because I know that can be hard. Sometimes we think talking about things makes it worse but it can really be the opposite. You have a great support team here on your blog for the bad days, but, I have a feeling you'll have many more happy ones! :)

    Voyage of the MeeMee

  6. I love what you did with it! So cozy. I'm sure Scoobs loves it too (or will eventually). It will get easier and easier with time and as long as you keep the positive attitude, you will be golden!

  7. Go You! I don't know you well but I am so proud of you for doing what needs to be done. Reading your post makes tears come to my eyes, you and scooby will be better than fine in time you guys will be awesome!

  8. You go girl!! I think this move will be one of the best choices you have ever made. And if you hate it...it's not permanent. Nothing is, not even our troubles. {hugs}

  9. ahhh i am so excited for you. i am sure the move wasn't easy for many reasons (mainly the icky carpet) ;) but it sounds like you're doing the best you can to make it work. i am sure you'll love it in no time.

  10. Love your apartment! You made it all cute and cosy :) So proud of you and excited for you! A job at Disney! That would be like a dream come true! Live it for both of us! Like Laura said, not even our troubles are permanent. You'll see :)

  11. I just wanna give you a big hug! You work at Disney though girl!!!!! That's amazing. =) Just keep on keeping on. It'll get better.

  12. Well I"m down here in south Fl, about three hours south of Disney but we can split the drive and have a blate!

    and how did you find a kickball team so fast? Ive lived here my whole life and haven't succeeded at that.

  13. Stay Brave! You can do this. I did a similar move from Chicago back home to PA 4 years ago when my previous fiancee broke up with me. I never felt like I'd feel like "me" again. It took time. It sounds like you are well on your way - loving your work, the kickball team, and having Scooby by your side. Stay positive and remember you are not alone! A new life will bring you to a new you, forget about ugh..him... xoxo

  14. The place looks great!! Sorry it was such a tough start but you did it!!!! Deep breathe and remember that, it may not have been easy but you did it!!

  15. I really love your blog. I so appreciate how REAL it is. I moved from the DC area to LA 5 years ago by myself with my cat...it was one of the hardest and best thing I've ever done :) I left my WHOLE family behind too...and there were times when it really sucked, but ultimately...it was a great decision and the right one for me. Hang in there and keep being positive!!

  16. This post was hard to get through at points but the end---I love the end :)

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