Friday, November 15, 2013

Asking for Advice: On Running Home

i feel like at this point i'm a once a week blogger. and that's fine. i've admitted it and i'm trying and i think i'll be better when i can just grasp life down here in orlando. at this point i'm like scooby trying to catch my tail. i catch it a little, then just fall over myself and start over again.

so what's been going on? a lot actually.

christmas arrived at disney. don't hate. look at this.




my good friend josh and i had the amazing opportunity of seeing and meeting frank turner. have you listened to his stuff? you should. download plain sailing weather right now. or spotify it. just come on. it's my breakup song. and i drunkenly told frank this when we met him. but that's neither here nor there.




i look really weird in that picture.

i look cuter here.

in my final news. scooby sleeps on my bed now.

it's fine.

the dog seriously cuddles me all night and it makes me cry because it is just what i need at the end of every day and i don't care i'm one of those people that sleeps with my dog now. i don't care.



so now to ask for some advice.

i want to go home this weekend. i know. i can't help it. this is my first weekend with no visitors, and i don't want to be here and i just want to go home and see my nieces and go to this huge party that my friends in north carolina are having (that i pretty much had the idea for it's fine) and i just want to so bad my heart hurts. it hurts.

there's some negatives obviously.

1. i need to get over it and learn to live here.
2. the cost of gas.
3. 8 hours each way for one night is kind of cray.
4. the stress on scooby.
100. i'll probably see (ex) manfriend

there's some positives.

1. i get to see my baby nieces.
2. i see all my friends.
3. i see my parents and get homecooked food and love.
4. i don't have to be here.
5. i won't spend the whole weekend crying.

i'm so torn. everything in my whole heart and body wants to just go home and keeps thinking--it isn't that big of a deal, that's the best thing about only being 8 hours away you can do this, scooby will get to see his cousin lucy, etc. etc. etc.

then there's that tiny tiny part of my head that thinks... don't do this katie. it is going to be a major setback. this is your home now and as much as you think seeing (ex) manfriend will bring some sort of peace all it is going to do is rock your pain back like a fast and furious movie.

but... i want to go.

what should i do?
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23 comments:

  1. Don't do it. Take a day trip with Scoobs to Clearwater and see the bay. Go do something at Disney that you've never done. Find a new running trail. Keep moving forward and remember two things: you are loved and you are amazing.

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  2. I agree with kc and probably a lot of other people. Don't do it! It seems like a good idea because you will get to see family and friends but you can't go home every weekend when you're feeling sad or lonely. Find a place you have never been and go explore. There are so many dog-friendly places in Florida so it will make Scooby happy and you will get outta the house. You can do this! Moving away isn't easy but you have a great job, a pup to cheer you up an you will meet people that will take up all your free time and it will be amazing! Keep your head up :)

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  3. I have to agree with the other ladies. I don't think it's a good idea. Admittedly, I am the queen of immediately gratifying decisions that ultimately kick my ass back to the beginning of any healing process I was in, & prolong my misery for some obnoxious amount of time... sort of like interest on a credit card. So saying that, I know of what I speak. :)

    My entire life I couldn't wait to go away to college...I loved my family, but seriously...I started researching out of state colleges in 3rd grade. When college came around, I packed up the car, said "Peace out, bitches!" and didn't look back. Then I had to come home for something in November of freshman year. My dad came and picked me up on Friday and then drove me back to school on Monday morning. As he walked away from my dorm, back to his car, I began to hysterically cry. Seriously ugly heaving sobs. All of sudden, I didn't want to be far away from my dad or home anymore. And I promptly (skipped all of my classes to cry some more and) made a calendar counting down the days until Christmas break. After a couple of weeks, I snapped out of my slump and went back to enjoying being off at school...but going home turned out to be a monumentally poor decision. It made me miss things I wasn't previously missing.

    You're already hurting and counting down until the holidays. Seeing everyone is just going to make it worse. You need to wait for the point when you're excited to go to NC, but also excited to return to Florida after a few days. And, you sure as hell don't need to see (ex) jackass. At the very least, you don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing you miss him/home/etc and don't love Florida yet. Don't see him until you're so obnoxiously happy in Florida everyone wants to slap you. :)

    If I didn't have a wedding to get drunk at this weekend, I'd buy a plane ticket now. But, I can send drunk texts tomorrow night if you need some awkward companionship. :)

    Okay...I'm getting silly now.

    Do I win a prize for longest blog comment ever? Let me know if you need my address. :)

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  4. Don't do it yet. You're still too raw. Build some good experiences here first. Explore your new surroundings. Have you been to Winter Park? Great art galleries, wine shops, restaurants. Lombardi's seafood mart is an amazing supplier of fresh seafood. Eat More produce is nearby. Avocados for 99 cents (and they have wine!).

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  5. DON'T DO IT. I have nothing more to add that hasn't already been said! It's going to suck, you're going to cry, and it's going to be hard - but if you can get through this weekend, you'll get through the next weekend and it'll continue to get easier and easier. It's something you should do for yourself. I think you'll come out of it feeling a lot stronger. :)

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  6. No stay in Florida, it'll be better for your sanity. Take Scooby for a nice long day at his personal dog park no one is ever in!

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  7. If there's one thing to think about that might be a really strong argument for NOT doing it... think about how much the drive back home will BLOW. Blow the biggest nut sack on earth. I know staying down here hurts and is going to suck, but leaving all over again and facing an eight hour drive on top of it will suck worse. So much worse.

    The last thing you need on earth right now is to run into him, especially after a few drinks. Take the money you would have spent on gas (at least $150 right?!) and treat yourself to something totally impulsive that you love. A massage, a mani/pedi, a new work outfit, crazy shoes, something ridiculous for your neices or scoobs, etc.

    DON'T DO IT. stay strong.

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  8. Stay put girlie. Like you said this is your home now, and you need to stay away from the ex man friend. Keep yourself busy at home. Its important to learn to be ok being alone in your new surroundings. Trust me, this is something I know all to well, but you'll be ok.

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  9. I would try to stick it out for one weekend, enjoy a day being a tourist in your new home! 8 hours for one night is a lot, save it for a longer visit!

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  10. don't go home. stay in FL and feel what it's like to just be there. give yourself the opportunity to start adjusting to the change. at the end of the weekend, you'll surprise yourself because YOU MADE IT THROUGH :)

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  11. Don't do it girl! It will only set up back and those feeling will become raw again. Take in the town and explore. Take a long walk with Scooby. Give yourself a goal of one thing to do and get out and do it! Be strong!

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  12. Don't go home, I know you really really want to but I think you should stay in FL. The only way to heal is to let go of the past.

    Don't spend the weekend crying though, get out in your new city and find something new to explore or do! That way when your sweet family comes to visit you'll be able to show them all kinds of fun things in addition to Disney!

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  13. i vote no. i vote enjoy the christmas at work! and get to know your city on your own (well with scoob) find a cute coffee shop, visit a fun store. just explore what is now yours !!!!

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  14. First of all, my dog sleeps with me....and my cats, its ok. Second....You need to stay in Fl. Yes seeing your family will be great, but you don't need to see ex manfriend right now, you and Scooby need to focus on moving ahead.

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  15. Don't do it! You're going to have to face a weekend alone at some point... I say give it a shot now... you're stronger than you think - look how far you've made it already! :)

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  16. No no no, stay in Florida! Yes, it would be awesome to see your family and friends but I still think it's a little too early to go back :/ Trust me, I just saw my (kinda) ex before he left the country and wow oh my heart hurts. I didn't see him for five months and it still hurts. Crazy, huh? So take my (and everyone's) advice: go find a new trail with Scooby, go be a tourist for a day (or two) or do something you've never done before :)

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  17. Everyone is saying don't do it...I say do what makes you happy. But like the others I agree I don't think what makes you happy will make FL hurt any less. And that drive home will suck! Thinking of you!

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