Tuesday, November 19, 2013

There Are Some Small Moments

have you guys ever experienced one of those moments, really small, but for some reason they hit you like a ton of bricks? sometimes you think it will be the biggest things that stand out, but in reality, i think it is the little ones, the way the moon looks, the way a wine tastes, the way a laugh sounds, that resonate in our hearts and minds and blow us away with the feelings they bring.

i was sitting by the copier waiting for something to fax staring out the window when one of these moments hit me. i was drifting away listening to the copier beep and just staring at downtown disney in front of me. i knew my mind was wandering, and more often than not, to a negative place and for some reason i just allow this. but as i stared i started to notice the littlest things. the way the clouds were so big and fluffy and moving so fast and the way they were you could just tell it was a warm day for some reason. the way the fire exploded in the most hideous kitschy way from the t-rex restaurant. the characters in flight balloon was high in the air overlooking saratoga springs resort. the christmas garland was everywhere and i swear, if i listened close, i could hear the christmas music playing. i watched the busses pull in and out and the people get off and run towards their destination. and it hit me.

i can't believe i work here.

i can't believe i work in this place.

and i can't believe i'm not much more thankful for this.

i know life isn't a 0 to 100% situation. and i know you can't just force yourself into happiness. it's a process to learn, and grow and love. but sometimes it's these little moments that make you think, you know, i think i'm going to speed up to get to that happiness party just a little bit sooner. sometimes we look at the big picture way too often and it overwhelms us and doesn't allow us to see the little joys out there. in fact, i'm having one right now as i sit here, in the coziest little living room i made, with scooby at my feet, a christmas story on tv and my little pink tree glowing in the corner lighting the room so i can blog. it's one of those, wow, i can't believe i made this life moments.

and i'm thankful for that.

i've gotten so many amazing comments, love and support over the past few weeks but by far my favorites are those of you who have reached out to me in confidence and told me that i'm an inspiration to you. that you are also going through a hard time, a move, a breakup, and my honesty and feelings help your day and make you feel like it's okay to feel them too.

i just want to hug everyone, ever, that has ever felt lost and alone.

but just realize this.


life is too short not to notice the little moments.

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10 comments:

  1. Good for you girl. Good for you! I'm so glad you are starting to see these little moments. I continue to think about and pray for you and scooby :)

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  2. sigh. this is perfect. Can I come work at Disney too? Scratch that. Not work. Just live in your guest room and Scooby-sit until you get off and then we go to Rainforest Cafe for dinner every night?

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  3. "It's the little things." <-- fact

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  4. Sometimes the littlest things can make you the most happy!

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  5. There you go! I love when lightbulb moments like that happen. :)

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  6. A moment of clarity! Glad things are slowly (but surely) coming around for you!

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  7. i just binge-read the last 10 of your posts! that's when i remembered that you pretty much did the bravest thing and uprooted your life to pursue your dream job which is TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME. although it's hard now being away from friends and family, it hasn't been that long since you left NC so give yourself time to adjust/adapt...remember that change takes time!

    i wish you all the best! in time you'll make florida your home and if one day you decide that you really don't feel at home, at least you gave it a shot, right? this experience will only enrich your life and you can look back and feel proud that you did this because life is too short for regrets and what-ifs.

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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